Real Men Not Dinosaurs

Sales of romantica ebooks are growing at a colossal pace. We all know the frisson of reading a bit of smut in a public place ... prying eyes are unable to see clearly what you have stashed on your Kindle or Nook, and as the man with the refreshment trolley wanders down the train handing out overpriced coffee and sandwiches, I'm quietly and privately devouring the latest hot stuff, courtesy of electronic media. I still love books of course - real books are my friends! There's something special about a hardback book from an author you especially enjoy, and you can fondle the pages to your hearts content!

Anyhow I digress. Moving from fondling paper to fondling actual people ... ah, but is it always people? The goalposts are continually shifting, and we've moved way past vampire erotica into the realms of hot chicks being bonked senseless by angels, zombies and cyborgs - though not all three at once ... but if that's your thing, you never know ...

Werewolf romance became huge and has subsequently morphed into a much broader shapeshifter genre that encompasses werepanthers and werebears and were-anything-else-you-can-think-of. I wonder if the female heroines of such works develop crippling allergies to fur and sneeze their pretty little heads off during passionate lovemaking?

And then we have ... wait for it ... Monster erotica, also known as monster porn or cryptozoological erotica. Within this you get sex with Bigfoots (of the smelly hairy animal kind, not your man's feet) dinosaur porn, or tentacle porn. All of which stretches the bounds of credibility, wouldn't you agree? Where can the industry possibly go next I wonder?

I'm in a quandary here. Quite aside from the fact that dinosaurs died out zillions of years ago (okay, we authors are creative in our use of artistic licence) what I can’t quite get my head around, given that these creatures are bloody HUGE, are the um ... physical accommodation factors.

Dinosaur sex anyone? No thanks, not for me. I reckon I'll stick to writing romance with a dash of kink, involving real men.